An elderly woman had three cats that she was very close to. One day, one of the three cats died. She hated to part with any of them so she buried the first one in her back yard. Later on, the second one died. She buired that one near her back steps. A few years later, the third one died. She refused to bury the third one so she put it in a small satchel and carried it around... Read More »
Hunting difficulties
A theoretical physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go deer hunting with one rifle between them. They soon spot a deer 100 yards away, and after quickly drawing straws, the physicist takes the first shot. Assuming the deer lies on an infinite frictionless planar surface in a vacuum, the physicist makes some calculations, takes aim, and fires. His shot lands 5 yards short of the deer. The engineer goes next, making calculations of his own that account for air resistance, the thermal expansion of the .30-06 bullet, and the changing wind conditions. His shot lands 5 yards past the deer. The statistician leaps into the air and shouts, "We got him!"
Bad service.
This is rediculous! I've been sitting at my table for two hours and the waiter still hasn't taken my order! I'm never coming to McDonalds again!
#1
Throw Me A Bone
If I owned a Great Dane I would name it Peeve. That way I could introduce him to people as my biggest pet, Peeve.
#2
Dry Your Eyes
The worst part about accidently rubbing deodorant into your eye is that it won't let you have any tears to cry it out.
#3
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