An elderly woman had three cats that she was very close to. One day, one of the three cats died. She hated to part with any of them so she buried the first one in her back yard. Later on, the second one died. She buired that one near her back steps. A few years later, the third one died. She refused to bury the third one so she put it in a small satchel and carried it around... Read More »
Do you have what it takes to do standup? Of course not, so post your jokes here instead.
A theoretical physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go deer hunting with one rifle between them. They soon spot a deer 100 yards away, and after quickly drawing straws, the physicist takes the first shot. Assuming the deer lies on an infinite frictionless planar surface in a vacuum, the physicist makes some calculations, takes aim, and fires. His shot lands 5 yards short of the deer. The engineer goes next, making calculations of his own that account for air resistance, the thermal expansion of the .30-06 bullet, and the changing wind conditions. His shot lands 5 yards past the deer. The statistician leaps into the air and shouts, "We got him!"
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