It's ironic that I drink coffee to be productive, but end up spending an hour pooping 10 minutes later.
13 margaritas
A man walks into a bar and orders 13 margaritas and the bartender looks at the man and says "hell of an order, what are you celebrating?" The man looks back at the bartender and says "I'm celebrating my first blow job." The bartender gives the guy a huge smile and replies "well why don't I give you a 14th margarita on the house?" The man smiles and and kindly turns down the bartenders offer and says "nah if 13 doesn't get the taste out I don't know what will."
Like this uPick
URL
Close
Your no Michael Phelps but I guess you got the job done.
Sometimes I just look at people and think "for real? That's the sperm that won?"
Dinner Etiquette
"Thank you so much for offering a second helping but I'm saving myself for dessert. A few more bites and I'd be much too bloated to have sex with the chocolate cake."
President vs Supermodels
How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?
