It's ironic that I drink coffee to be productive, but end up spending an hour pooping 10 minutes later.

Sometimes I just look at people and think "for real? That's the sperm that won?"

The website said XXX girls, but they clearly only had two X chromosomes

"Thank you so much for offering a second helping but I'm saving myself for dessert. A few more bites and I'd be much too bloated to have sex with the chocolate cake."

How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?

Fun Fact, anyone who thinks random facts are fun are actually just nerds