This is rediculous! I've been sitting at my table for two hours and the waiter still hasn't taken my order! I'm never coming to McDonalds again!
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Rich vs. Poor
There's a rich guy and a poor guy having a conversation one day. The rich guy was saying how it was his wife's birthday last week. The poor guy inquires, "Oh yeah? What did someone like you buy her?" The rich guy responds, "Well I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes-Benz". Puzzled the poor guy asks, "why would you get her both?". To which the rich guy retorts, "well if she didn't like the diamond, she has a new Mercedes, and if she doesn't like the Mercedes she always has the diamond ring". The poor guy says, "I know what your mean, a few months ago it was my wife's birthday. I bought her a new pair of slippers and a dildo". The rich guy inquires, "that's a strange combination why the slippers and the dildo", to which the poor guy responded, "Well, if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself".
An elderly woman had three cats that she was very close to. One day, one of the three cats died. She hated to part with any of them so she buried the first one in her back yard. Later on, the second one died. She buired that one near her back steps. A few years later, the third one died. She refused to bury the third one so she put it in a small satchel and carried it around... Read More » with her wherever she would go. One very hot summer day she got on a bus and told the bus driver; " I have my dear pet cat in this satchel, it it starts to smell, let me know and I well get off the bus". A little later, the bus driver yelled out; "Would the woman with the stinking pussy, please get off the bus!" Eight women got up and got off the bus.
John Tracy |
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