It's ironic that I drink coffee to be productive, but end up spending an hour pooping 10 minutes later.

The website said XXX girls, but they clearly only had two X chromosomes

Sometimes I just look at people and think "for real? That's the sperm that won?"

I've had it with the Harry Potter jokes. I'm Sirius!

How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?

Fun Fact, anyone who thinks random facts are fun are actually just nerds