Yesterday my boyfriend called my bra "nipple armor."

I was a German exchange student in an American high school - junior grade. One of the very first things I discovered was that not only girls did fly for my accent, but also that American girls are kinda wilder than most German ones. Before my first hook up with this American girl, I had a huge crash on my mountainbike, so I was all bandaged up, sore, and even still bleeding... Read More » under some of the bandages. (No need to tell you, that I used the bruises to get laid.) Turns out, she'd be one of the wilder girls. I don't think she realized that I was moaning because of pain, or that scratching my back like a freaking lion would not contribute to the improvement of the situation. When I woke up the next morning, I did not only have a hangover, bruises and wounds all over my body, but an impressive set of bloody scratches on my back, that would soon turn to scars. I now use these scars to pick up German girls, by telling them about the "time a wild bear attacked me close to lake Tahoe". I've gotten laid 5 times because of that story so far. 5 out of 6 times. Thanks Lea. You did a great job, although it was painful!

Last night my boyfriend took his hand and made it look like a person and proceeded to use my boobs for a trampoline. Sound effects were included.

I was at the end of a weekend visit to my ex (who lived a state away), and she was dropping me off at the train stop so I could head home. She was in tears and we started making out in the car, when suddenly her nose started bleeding. And by bleeding, I mean gushing everywhere. Pretty weird, huh? Not for her, apparently. The same thing happened the next time I visited.

I just spent an hour watching my Italian girlfriend play Diablo III on my lap in nothing but a towel after just getting out of the shower. I think I'm in love.

My roommate is so loud in bed (whether with a guy or by herself) that she has woken us all up multiple times. Despite regular complaints, she doesn't control herself no matter who is home, if significant others are over or what time of day it is. She masturbates every day. One time, I was so annoyed I tried to embarrass her by applauding and cheering, but she couldn't hear... Read More » me over herself. I have never managed to orgasm (which she knows), so this is getting old really fast. + this if you think this should escalate into a Roommate Confession-level retaliation.