One of my favorite stories my dad tells, is about the day mom was giving birth to my brother. Back then, my parents lived quite a ways from the city, so it was a long drive to the hospital that could handle childbirths. Mom's in labor, so dad's got her in the the car, and is speeding down the highway doing a good 40-50KPH over the limit at least, blowing through the tiny... Read More » communities and pit stops on the way. Soon enough, there's an RCMP officer behind him, lights, sirens, the whole works. Dad decides to not stop, and for a good 20 minutes this cop is on his tail. He finally reaches the hospital, pulls in, and jumps out of the car. The cop does too, screaming at him to stop, and demanding to know what the hell he was doing. As my dad is opening the passenger door for my mom, he looks to the cop and screams "My wife's having a baby! Gimme a hand here!", to which the cop stops in his tracks, throws his arms up and yells "Have a nice day sir!" and promptly gets into his car and leaves.

I was once pulled over for driving on the carpool lane by myself, but the cop didn't know I was receiving road-head from my girlfriend and he asked where she came from. I looked him in the eyes gave him somewhat of a signal and there was an awkward pause. He stepped back and said "Drive safely now."

So, I was in a closed park in the middle of the night, just on my way out, when a police car drives past the park. I didn't think they saw me and started to climb over the fence. When I am halfway over I noticed that the police car had stopped a 100 meter down the road, and as I continue my way down from the fence, the car starts to back. I quickly hide myself behind a... Read More » nearby parked car, and watch as the police car stops and two policemen gets out of the car. They then walk up to the fence to flash their flashlight and yell at "the person inside to come out", for at least 5 min before giving up and driving away.

A number of years ago I thought it would be nice to take my martial arts class outside to the park to train. We had been there for a little over an hour when it began to get dark. It was then a Police cruiser drover over the curb and straight into the park, flashing his lights and turned on his roof spotlight; aiming it at us. I quickly, but calmly walked over to the cruiser... Read More » to ask what the issue was. The officer in the drivers seat started asking me questions about what we were doing in the park and I responded with the truth. Sadly I have a stutter, though not too bad it is noticeable. The officer then started badgering me, asking why I was so nervous, what am I hiding, etc.. I then became insulted and told him I stuttered to which he replied "Suuuuuure you do buddy" and started exiting his vehicle with his nightstick in hand. He then stopped, got back in the car and told me I was lucky and drove off. I thought he must have thought better of arresting me without cause and smiled. I turned around to resume class and all 32 of my students were less than 10 feet behind me, standing cross armed and looking very annoyed at the car driving away. Guess he figured it wasn't worth it.

So about eight or nine of us were out on my third story roof at school one of the last nights, drinking, smoking and chilling. Some cops were rolling down the alley behind our house when a bottle, (not from any of us) shattered in their direction. Immediately there were spotlights on the roof while the cops yelled rational things like "Which one of you shits threw a... Read More » bottle?!" and "We're coming to get you fuckers!" Everyone scrambled inside and out of my room except for me, I stayed and stashed my illegals in my couch compartment and locked my door. 15 seconds after i hide the last thing 2 cops burst in from the roof, through my 3rd story bedroom window, with my underage boyfriend in tow, saying they smell weed, which i denied. (They actually smelled the bong water I had just dumped). The main one proceeds to scream at me while I try to very politely explain that it wasn't any of us who threw the bottle. While this was happening there was apparently a fucking SWAT team downstairs, who reported that it had been a clear bottle. Angry cop swore at me again and demanded to see our clear bottles, I calmly showed him all our empties, dark green Yuenglings and Natty Boh cans. By this time the other cops were slowly realizing their mistake, and came up and dismissed their very angry co-worker, told me I was very rational, and left. Nothing like actually being innocent of one crime to let you get away with a bunch of others.

I am in the pep band at my college and after this year's conference tournament we were having a party in one of the hotel rooms. It was mostly band kids on our floor, the cheerleaders had gone out and we checked with the GAs next door to make sure they were okay with everything (and invite them over for a beer.) At about 2 a.m, party in full swing we hear a knock on the door... Read More » and a clearly not old enough to drink freshman that has been put in charge of handing out the vodka turns around and screams "Tapitas!" without noticing everything had just gone silent. Hotel security was at the door to kick everyone out. Normal people across the hall had filed a noise complaint. The next day on the bus home our conductor turns to the kid that had had the vodka and said "You shoulda offered 'em a shot. That would a fixed it."