I'm stuck with these three girls are nicknamed the "herpes whores" in a suite style dorm. They are trashy, nasty girls with respect for other people's stuff. I begun to lose my sanity when they were using a shit ton of my expensive salon brand conditioner. The stuff doesn't won't even work on their fake, bone dried hair because it's for non damaged, natural hair ONLY, yet they... Read More »
ApeShi** Crazy Freshman Girl is Looking for a ...
This freshman sent this email to her entire building. I IMMEDIATELY said I needed to submit this to collegehumor! This is outrages. Date: Sun, Nov 20, 2011 at 1:02 PM Subject: Roommate stuff Hey everyone, I'm going to say what I would like to have in a roommate. Anyway, if you are a homophobe, maybe it would be a good idea to stop reading this email. I'm not a lesbian (I put myself as no interest), but if you can't tolerate gays and lesbians, then how can you tolerate someone who is even harder to tolerate? Anyway, let's begin. My name is ********, but I go by ***** (or Starcloud). So, the first thing I'd like in a roommate: willingness to move into my room. Another thing I'd like in a roommate? I'd like a roommate who doesn't force their ways on others. I've dealt with that crap for most of my life. Now, can you play music? That is fine with me during my quiet time, just as long as it's instrumental during those periods. (I might sometimes even play some intrumental music to block out the noise.) You have to be able to keep secrets. I have secrets, even minor ones, that if you find out, I'd rather not have others find out. You have to be willing to put up with me. I think that's it with that, though I might still mention other requirements, but I think I need to talk about me now so that you can decide if I'm the roommate for you. First off, I love anime and manga..something you'll have to put up with. Next, I love to sing. Not joking. If you are playing a song and I'm comfortable I will sing along with it. After midnight, I'm not sane, so you might have to deal with that (or join in). I'm actually weird. I sometimes forget to eat, just saying. I have trust issues. I have a fear of relying on someone too much. There will be times when I will need someone though. I'd suggest that you take advantage of those times. I love to draw. I have trouble getting up. I have a younger brother, so I will crack somewhat perverted jokes. I talk to myself a lot (it's a habit). I do not turn the heater on in my room. I'd like to keep it off since things like that make me sick. I do talk in my sleep. Very clearly too: feel free to grab a camera and record. Just remember to show me later so I can join in the laughter. I sound like a total drunk when I wake up, though. There are things I'm forgetting. Sorry..I just wanted to put myself out there. I know I can get touchy at times. Otherwise, I'm pretty down to Earth..or Mars. Email me back or stop by my room if you are interested.
My friend and I always like to mess with each other. One day I had met this girl and things were going pretty well, but because I knew he used to be into her, I asked to see if it was ok. He promptly gave me the thumbs up, but, as part of our ongoing prank war, texted her asking her out for me, when we barely knew eachother. It quickly weirded her out and ruined my chances, but... Read More » I had to get him back. He thought he had a chance (he didn't) with a super hot girl at our school. When I offered him her number he took it. Secretly I gave him my other friend's #, who was pretending to be the girl. They texted and even set up plans. He had the awkwardest conversation the next day when, in person, he really did talk to the girl and asked "Why weren't you there?" She was so confused and it was always awkward between them.
Well, I know now that you talk MAJOR shit about me with literally everyone I know... You know I have to say I'm not that surprised because it seems to be all that you do, but I thought we were close friends. I mean, I was the one to help you when you were embarrassingly throwing up all over yourself and others at a party while your longterm "marriage potential" boyfriend didn't... Read More » help AT ALL and only held the umbrellas while I had to carry your drunk puke smelling heavy ass 7 blocks by myself? HA WELL ANYWAYS, so I know you're really into conditioning your hair since its curly and what not so I took the liberty of peeing in your fancy conditioner this morning when I took a shower. Sorry.
- Hey, Hoe. Remember how you dumped me, saying how I treated you wrong, despite doing whatever I humanly could to help you out? Well, I found out your dirty, little secrets. How you cheated on me multiple times and even said the reason we're dating is so when I graduate, I'll be making money. Well, while going through your room, grabbing whatever that's mine, I found your weed... Read More » stash. I took whatever you had, leaving just enough for you to smoke in your pipe. Why? Because I wiped my ass with it. Oh, and you work hat, too.
you ran over my dog left her their for 2 hours then called me a pussy when i cryed cus she had to be put down so it was me who shit on your bed stole 300 from you and i also called your mom and told about your weed and booze and got you cut off good luck dick
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