I'm stuck with these three girls are nicknamed the "herpes whores" in a suite style dorm. They are trashy, nasty girls with respect for other people's stuff. I begun to lose my sanity when they were using a shit ton of my expensive salon brand conditioner. The stuff doesn't won't even work on their fake, bone dried hair because it's for non damaged, natural hair ONLY, yet they... Read More »
Lesbian revenge is the best
The first couple of weeks living with my roommate were actually fun, I thought she was a nice girl, not messy, easygoing, etc. That was until I found she was talking behind my back. Yes, I like girls, and as it turns out, she had 'a bit' of a problem with that (but never talked to me about it). She thought it was a better idea to spread lies about me and exaggerate every single thing I ever told (oh so dumb to trust that bitch). I found out about her gossipy/bitchy ways when a girl (A.) she talked to regurlarly came up to me and told me about the things my roomie said about me. I wanted revenge and to piss her off I started to act extra 'lezzy'. I thought of every possible cliche lesbian thing and started acting out: I asked her if short hair would look good on me and bought a T-shirt with a lesbian slogan. I also complained to her that girls usually don't like me because I have a very feminine figure, I told her (ok in a more subtle way than described here) I rather have a body like her, with small boobs (she always complains about being flatchested). I also put a screensaver of halfnaked girls on my computer and made sure I always left the screen on so she would see it everytime. To top it all off I starting asking her about her (what she thought) friend A.: I was wondering is A. was gay too, if she wanted to go out with me etc. Of course she went to A. to talk about this, and A. then talked to me and we laughed about it. The icing on the cake was the moment me and a female friend (straight but verrrrry butch-looking) entered the room holding hands and locked ourselves in the bedroom, pretending to have wild sex. We nearly died laughing while jumping on the bed and making sex noises. When we exited the room my roomie was gone and didn't come back for a few hours. Turns out she had gone to A. to complain, who called me and we once again had a good laugh. This cycle has been going on for months now, me acting out, roomie running off to A., who calls me and we laugh about it. Oh and I almost forgot; since she seems to fear the pussy I once wiped her cigarettes on my vagina, I made sure every single one of the cigs got a good swap of juice. I was drunk while that happened, but if I'm bored I might do it again;)
My friend and I always like to mess with each other. One day I had met this girl and things were going pretty well, but because I knew he used to be into her, I asked to see if it was ok. He promptly gave me the thumbs up, but, as part of our ongoing prank war, texted her asking her out for me, when we barely knew eachother. It quickly weirded her out and ruined my chances, but... Read More » I had to get him back. He thought he had a chance (he didn't) with a super hot girl at our school. When I offered him her number he took it. Secretly I gave him my other friend's #, who was pretending to be the girl. They texted and even set up plans. He had the awkwardest conversation the next day when, in person, he really did talk to the girl and asked "Why weren't you there?" She was so confused and it was always awkward between them.
Well, I know now that you talk MAJOR shit about me with literally everyone I know... You know I have to say I'm not that surprised because it seems to be all that you do, but I thought we were close friends. I mean, I was the one to help you when you were embarrassingly throwing up all over yourself and others at a party while your longterm "marriage potential" boyfriend didn't... Read More » help AT ALL and only held the umbrellas while I had to carry your drunk puke smelling heavy ass 7 blocks by myself? HA WELL ANYWAYS, so I know you're really into conditioning your hair since its curly and what not so I took the liberty of peeing in your fancy conditioner this morning when I took a shower. Sorry.
Amber Crowe |
- Hey, Hoe. Remember how you dumped me, saying how I treated you wrong, despite doing whatever I humanly could to help you out? Well, I found out your dirty, little secrets. How you cheated on me multiple times and even said the reason we're dating is so when I graduate, I'll be making money. Well, while going through your room, grabbing whatever that's mine, I found your weed... Read More » stash. I took whatever you had, leaving just enough for you to smoke in your pipe. Why? Because I wiped my ass with it. Oh, and you work hat, too.
you ran over my dog left her their for 2 hours then called me a pussy when i cryed cus she had to be put down so it was me who shit on your bed stole 300 from you and i also called your mom and told about your weed and booze and got you cut off good luck dick
uPick is a new feature on CollegeHumor where YOU the user upload a story or picture to a category. You then vote up or down these stories as you see fit.