If I owned a Great Dane I would name it Peeve. That way I could introduce him to people as my biggest pet, Peeve.
Do you have what it takes to do standup? Of course not, so post your jokes here instead.
The Farmer's Daughters
A farmer had 3 daughters, one day he decides to test their purity so he calls in his eldest who was 17 pulls down his pants points down and asks "Daughter what is that?" the daughter blushes and says "that's a dick dad" the farmer flips out calling her a whore and kicks her out of the house. Calls in the middle one who was 15 does the the same and again she say "that's a dick" he kicks her out as well. He calls his youngest who is 13 and she says "dad, that's a dingle" the farmer is proud and tell her "Your sisters are whores they said dick!" the daughter starts laughing her ass off and says "they called THAT a dick?!"
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