This is rediculous! I've been sitting at my table for two hours and the waiter still hasn't taken my order! I'm never coming to McDonalds again!
Do you have what it takes to do standup? Of course not, so post your jokes here instead.
She's a genius
Billy graham, Hillary clinton, Al gore, and a little girl are riding on a airplane together, and the plane runs out of fuel. Unfortunately, there are only three parachutes. Al gore takes one, saying "Somebody has to stop global warming, so I can't die here today." Hillary clinton takes one saying "I'm america's smartest woman and i'm destined to become president, so I can't die here today." billy graham looks at the little girl and says "I'm an old man and will die soon anyway. You take the last parachute." "don't worry" says the little girl, "There's two parachutes left. America's smartest woman just jumped out the airplane with my backpack."
An elderly woman had three cats that she was very close to. One day, one of the three cats died. She hated to part with any of them so she buried the first one in her back yard. Later on, the second one died. She buired that one near her back steps. A few years later, the third one died. She refused to bury the third one so she put it in a small satchel and carried it around... Read More » with her wherever she would go. One very hot summer day she got on a bus and told the bus driver; " I have my dear pet cat in this satchel, it it starts to smell, let me know and I well get off the bus". A little later, the bus driver yelled out; "Would the woman with the stinking pussy, please get off the bus!" Eight women got up and got off the bus.
John Tracy |
uPick is a new feature on CollegeHumor where YOU the user upload a story or picture to a category. You then vote up or down these stories as you see fit.