An elderly woman had three cats that she was very close to. One day, one of the three cats died. She hated to part with any of them so she buried the first one in her back yard. Later on, the second one died. She buired that one near her back steps. A few years later, the third one died. She refused to bury the third one so she put it in a small satchel and carried it around... Read More »
Do you have what it takes to do standup? Of course not, so post your jokes here instead.
Each day on his way to work a man drives by an amazing country club. One day on his way he decides to stop in and see if they would let him play a round even though he is not a member. He goes into the pro shop and explains to the manager that he sees this country club everyday on his commute and knows that he could not afford to play but was wondering if he could go out and play a round. The manager agrees but under the condition that he take out and test one of their new robotic caddies. The man agrees and goes out to play his round. About 4 hours later the man returns. The manager asked him what he thought of the round and he replied "Best round I have ever had. The caddie was amazing. It told me exactly what club to use, how hard to hit the ball, where the wind was coming from, and even cleaned my clubs. Best round ever." A few weeks later the same man comes into the pro shop wondering if he could somehow be allowed to play another round. As it was a slow day the manager agreed. The man asked if he could take out one of the new robotic caddies again and the manager said that they had to get rid of them. "Why the man asked. Those things were amazing." Well replied the mananger. "The members were complaining that on the sunny days the sun was reflecting off of them and blinding them while they were trying to hit the ball." "Well why didn't you just paint them black" replied the man. "We tried that but the next day 2 didn't show up for work and the other 3 robbed the pro shop"
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