This is rediculous! I've been sitting at my table for two hours and the waiter still hasn't taken my order! I'm never coming to McDonalds again!
Do you have what it takes to do standup? Of course not, so post your jokes here instead.
A doctor, A lawyer, and a HMO agent die and arrive at the pearly gates. "tell me" says saint peter "why should you be allowed to pass?" The doctor steps up and says "I've performed surgery all my life, saving people from disease and injury" "Allright, you can pass" says St. Peter. The lawyer steps up and says "I've defended the common man against big business, and have preserved justice while I was alive" "sounds good, you can pass" says St Peter. Lastly, the HMO agent steps up saying " I've provided cheap and affordable health care to those who otherwise wouldn't be able to pay there medical bills" "okay" says St. Peter. "You can stay in heaven for two weeks. After that, you can go to hell."
An elderly woman had three cats that she was very close to. One day, one of the three cats died. She hated to part with any of them so she buried the first one in her back yard. Later on, the second one died. She buired that one near her back steps. A few years later, the third one died. She refused to bury the third one so she put it in a small satchel and carried it around... Read More » with her wherever she would go. One very hot summer day she got on a bus and told the bus driver; " I have my dear pet cat in this satchel, it it starts to smell, let me know and I well get off the bus". A little later, the bus driver yelled out; "Would the woman with the stinking pussy, please get off the bus!" Eight women got up and got off the bus.
John Tracy |
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