I'm stuck with these three girls are nicknamed the "herpes whores" in a suite style dorm. They are trashy, nasty girls with respect for other people's stuff. I begun to lose my sanity when they were using a shit ton of my expensive salon brand conditioner. The stuff doesn't won't even work on their fake, bone dried hair because it's for non damaged, natural hair ONLY, yet they... Read More »
So back in college I lived in a three bedroom apartment on top of a chinese food restaurant. It was great because we could basically do whatever we wanted and no one bothered us until an older couple moved into the vacant apartment below. They were completely disfunctional ex-army people who would fight loudly and violently with each other and break things all hours of the night. One of my last nights living in the apartment, I had invited friends and family to the apartment for my college graduation party. It was relatively low key and at 10:00 p.m. the fat woman from below comes to the apartment door with a baseball bat to threaten me and my rooommates regarding the noise. After I see her through the peep hole with a bat in her hand I grabbed a large bag of trash and threw it in her face when I opened the door which enraged her. The cops had to come and she was forced to pay for the repairs to our front door since she hit the door with the bat. A few days later I was moving out and saw the same wackadoo neighbor who told me she was "gonna get me". I said "I am moving out right now so I hardly see how that was possible." Soon as she left I soaked their front rug with some dirty bong water and threw the rest of it under their front door. Then I took some super glue and made sure to super glue all the locks to their front door shut. The best part was it was raining like crazy that day and when they got home they were locked outside for quite a long time. Apparently they called the cops and said they had pictures of the locks jammed with super glue and the cop asked them how it was possible they took pictures of clear glue, never got in trouble and the cops didnt file the report. Needless to say "I got them".
H Green |
My friend and I always like to mess with each other. One day I had met this girl and things were going pretty well, but because I knew he used to be into her, I asked to see if it was ok. He promptly gave me the thumbs up, but, as part of our ongoing prank war, texted her asking her out for me, when we barely knew eachother. It quickly weirded her out and ruined my chances, but... Read More » I had to get him back. He thought he had a chance (he didn't) with a super hot girl at our school. When I offered him her number he took it. Secretly I gave him my other friend's #, who was pretending to be the girl. They texted and even set up plans. He had the awkwardest conversation the next day when, in person, he really did talk to the girl and asked "Why weren't you there?" She was so confused and it was always awkward between them.
Well, I know now that you talk MAJOR shit about me with literally everyone I know... You know I have to say I'm not that surprised because it seems to be all that you do, but I thought we were close friends. I mean, I was the one to help you when you were embarrassingly throwing up all over yourself and others at a party while your longterm "marriage potential" boyfriend didn't... Read More » help AT ALL and only held the umbrellas while I had to carry your drunk puke smelling heavy ass 7 blocks by myself? HA WELL ANYWAYS, so I know you're really into conditioning your hair since its curly and what not so I took the liberty of peeing in your fancy conditioner this morning when I took a shower. Sorry.
Amber Crowe |
- Hey, Hoe. Remember how you dumped me, saying how I treated you wrong, despite doing whatever I humanly could to help you out? Well, I found out your dirty, little secrets. How you cheated on me multiple times and even said the reason we're dating is so when I graduate, I'll be making money. Well, while going through your room, grabbing whatever that's mine, I found your weed... Read More » stash. I took whatever you had, leaving just enough for you to smoke in your pipe. Why? Because I wiped my ass with it. Oh, and you work hat, too.
you ran over my dog left her their for 2 hours then called me a pussy when i cryed cus she had to be put down so it was me who shit on your bed stole 300 from you and i also called your mom and told about your weed and booze and got you cut off good luck dick
uPick is a new feature on CollegeHumor where YOU the user upload a story or picture to a category. You then vote up or down these stories as you see fit.