An elderly woman had three cats that she was very close to. One day, one of the three cats died. She hated to part with any of them so she buried the first one in her back yard. Later on, the second one died. She buired that one near her back steps. A few years later, the third one died. She refused to bury the third one so she put it in a small satchel and carried it around... Read More »
Santa @ the Playboy Mansion
It's Christmas Eve and Santa is making his usual deliveries house to house. Well, he comes up on the Playboy Mansion. Being a mansion, it has a ton of chimney's, so Santa starts with the first one he sees. He goes down the first chimney, and he sees a Playmate sitting on her bed topless. Santa asks her, "What do you want for Xmas little girl?" The playmate responds, "Santa, I want you and me, right here, right now!" Santa responds, "Sorry dear, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta deliver these gifts to the kiddies ya know." "Okay," she says, and Santa leaves. Santa goes down the second chimney and sees a playmate sitting on her bed without any panties on. He asks her, "Little girl, what would you like for Xmas?" The playmate responds, "Santa, I want you and me, right here, right now!" Santa responds, "Sorry dear, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta deliver these gifts to the kiddies ya know." "Okay," she says, and Santa leaves. Santa goes down the third chimney, and this time he sees a playmate completely naked, finger banging herself on a bear skin rug. Santa clears his throat and asks, "What would you like for Xmas little girl?" The playmate responds, "Santa, I want you and me, right here, right now!" Santa responds, "Hey hey, gotta stay, gotta stay. Can't go back up the chimney with my dick this way!"
Bad service.
This is rediculous! I've been sitting at my table for two hours and the waiter still hasn't taken my order! I'm never coming to McDonalds again!
#1
Throw Me A Bone
If I owned a Great Dane I would name it Peeve. That way I could introduce him to people as my biggest pet, Peeve.
#2
Dry Your Eyes
The worst part about accidently rubbing deodorant into your eye is that it won't let you have any tears to cry it out.
#4
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