Rough Love

I purchased my wife a Garmin watch that had GPS and heart rate monitor etc. Most importantly for her it shows how many calories she's burned. So one week after doing a lot of running and biking she starts talking about how many more calories she burned when she does exercises that keep her heart rate up above 80% her max. To which I leaned in and whispered in her ear that maybe... Read More » she should start wearing it while we had sex to see how many calories she would burn. She stepped back and we looked each other in the eyes and both started laughing hysterically. Married 18 years with 3 boys......meh.

Apparently nobody is getting any action these days. 2 weeks and only 2 or 3 stories?

My ex-girlfriend thought Alaska and Hawaii were south of California because that's where they are always shown on maps of America.

I've always been a bit self-conscious about my inverted nipple, but my girlfriend made me feel a lot better when she said she just finds it funny. According to her, it looks like my right boob stabbed the left out of jealousy.

The other day my girlfriend asked me to stick out my tongue. She then wrapped her lips around it, sucked and moved closer to me and then further away before breaking into laughter. She then exclaimed "I just gave your tongue a blow job!"

One night me and a girl i had been dating were watching a movie when things started to get hot. This resulted in her giving me head and when I came it somehow found its way out her nose. Bit of an awkward moment, but one of our favorite stories.