An elderly woman had three cats that she was very close to. One day, one of the three cats died. She hated to part with any of them so she buried the first one in her back yard. Later on, the second one died. She buired that one near her back steps. A few years later, the third one died. She refused to bury the third one so she put it in a small satchel and carried it around... Read More »
Do you have what it takes to do standup? Of course not, so post your jokes here instead.
So at the top of a building, there's a party going on. One really drunk guy goes up to another guy and says "dude, this drink can make you injury-proof. Watch." He proceeds to take a sip, jump out the window, and then a few seconds later he comes walking back up the stairs. "Wow, that's amazing! give me a sip" says the other guy. He took a sip, jumped out the window, and SPLAT. He died right there on the pavement. Then, someone goes up to the drunk guy and says "You're such a dick when you're drunk Superman..."
David M |
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