If I owned a Great Dane I would name it Peeve. That way I could introduce him to people as my biggest pet, Peeve.
Do you have what it takes to do standup? Of course not, so post your jokes here instead.
The Nun and the Priest/Goddammit...
An old priest was celebrating his 60th birthday at his church after services. He tries to hit a pinata filled with candy with a baseball bat, but misses and yells "Goddammit, I missed!". One of the nuns, an especially conservative, spiteful one, says, "How dare you use that kind of language in the house of the Lord? If God hears you do that again, he will strike you with a ball of lightning!" Well, sure enough, the old priest misses again and yells "Goddammit, I missed!" and a bolt of lightning strikes him dead. The nun says "Well, that serves him right for being so disrespectful in the house of the Lord." Suddenly, a voice comes booming out of the sky yelling "Goddammit, I missed!"
uPick is a new feature on CollegeHumor where YOU the user upload a story or picture to a category. You then vote up or down these stories as you see fit.