Roommate Confessions

You've done some bad stuff to your roommate. It's time to confess.

Roommate Confessions
uPick

Wash your ass

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I had a roommate my junior year of college who was just disgusting. The first time I met her, she had just gotten out of the shower and was hanging out in the bedroom in just a robe, fully aware that I would be moving in that day. She was not a thin girl by any means, and had a boyfriend who was also very fat. For the first semester I was there, they spent all their time in bed together, having sex or watching TV in their underwear. Every time they would leave the room, I would have to Febreeze her bed because everything smelled like rotting food and body odor. Her desk was also covered with used tissues, and I would have to walk past it to get in and out of the room. She quite literally had an entire semester's worth of used tissues on her desk by the end. The worst part of living with her though, was the thermostat. In went to school in a particularly frigid part of the United States. In the middle of January, she would wait until my roommates and I would go to sleep, then sneak out to the living room and turn the heat off in the apartment because her extra heft made her hot all the time. After asking her nicely not to do it, asking not so nicely, and finally having a meeting with the roommate board, we came up with a plan. One of my roommates switched bedrooms so that this girl could have her own room. Then we waited for her to fall asleep and pushed all the chairs we had in the apartment in front of her bedroom door. We also unscrewed the front to the thermostat, turned it up to a comfortable level, and kept it in place with a nickel. She couldn't figure out how to unscrew the front or why the thermostat wouldn't change. We got reported to the roommate board, and the woman conducting the meeting decided in our favor.

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