I just accidentally discovered a way to make fart noises with my neck and shoulder. I haven't felt so accomplished in years!

I was studying today and an old man walked up to me with a dog, put the dog's leash down, and walked away without saying anything. I played with the dog for fifteen minutes until he came back with his lunch. This made my week.

So, in my final year of high school, I get this annoying professor who thinks that picking on me is the only motive in his class. Eventually making people and my parents believe that I don't study in his class, he poked the idea of private tutoring. So I faked my way and got his number. Phase 2: I started making multiple poster ads for garage sale, roommates needed, cleaning service... Read More » needed etc. I made about 35-40 of these posters, with the ads mentioning him to call during the school hours. I passed the posters to my friends who lived in far parts of the town where he won't be able to reach. Needless to say, it was extremely fun to see him disturbed, frustated and even skipping classes for two whole weeks. Revenge is a bitch, asshole.

Everyone knows that Taco Bell is my favorite fast food place. So for Christmas, four different people got me Subway gift cards.