I happen to be chronically ill, since i was about 17. Last time i visited my specialist, and i complained about being SO tired all the time and that it depressed me, he told me, i should view my disease and myself differently. He said: "Having Crohns disease, is like being an athlete, it's top sport for the body to deal with it, it's natural for you to be so tired,...it's the... Read More »
The next day? Why not that day?
For work experience..(does this count?)..anyway I had to work at this Primary school/Elementary school which I hated, I didn't even want to work there I got put there by this douche of a work experience selector in which I said I wanted to work in retail or something easy..but no...fucking assistant teacher. I had to work beside this guy who just was a total dick, he treated everyone around him like shit, smiled when he insulted a kid or when one got hurt and his sense of humour was just...weird...did I mention he waddled like the penguin out of Batman returns and has a belly like a beachball? Anyway one day he brought his bike into school to show the kids (how the fuck does he get on it?) and told me to get on it to show how to get on a bike and he was acting like a complete tool telling us how amazing he is on his bike, so I put my knee over it very fast and it smacked into his beachball belly causing him to fall over the chair behind him and his head went straight into the bin where a kid had been sick. The next day I got kicked outta' his class.
Dan H |
Several years ago I worked with a overnight delivery company. It wasn't unusual to run into all sorts of dogs when you made a delivery (including nasty ones.) One day, I walked up to a lady's house where the front door was open. As soon as I rang the bell, I heard the jingle of dog tags & realized I was too far away from the vehicle to get back there in time, so I braced myself.... Read More » of the door run 4 GREAT DANES, who start to circle me & are growling. The lady comes out, signs for the package, & walks back in the house, leaving her pack circling me, snapping at me & growling. I yell out "Ma'am, would you please come get your dogs", to which she replies "Oh, they won't hurt you." It was about this time they got more aggressive & nipped at my legs. Finally after yelling at her that her dogs were starting to bite me, she comes out, tells to dogs to go inside, looks at me & says "Oh you poor frightened boy...you're just not a dog person are you?" Needless to say, anytime someones front door was open after that, I just honked the horn.
I work at Wal-Mart as a Wireless Sales Associate (basically electronics), and we have this one reoccurring older African-American customer who comes in with the assumption that we are some type of IT or Geek Squad. Well anyways, he comes in about a week ago, and brings his laptop. The laptop that he has is a Compact with Windows XP (a bit outdated I must say). Anyways, he pulls... Read More » it out, and opens up some program that is similar to PowerPoint (I guess, the XP version?) and tells me that some guy is stealing his credit and plagiarizing the trademark "Civil Rights", which baffled my mind. He wanted me to save a copy of his document, that he opened up on his mind you, so he can sue him for copyright infringement. I just looked at him confused, and literally had to listen to him rant for half an hour (before dumping him onto another associate for another hour) about how he stole his thunder and how computers are confusing. The next day, he calls the store, and begins asking me as to why his keys aren't working, I just let out a sigh and told him to call Compact (basically dumping him onto them). Moral of the story, please learn how to use a computer and don't bring it to a retail store and expect them to fix it.
I work private security, we have lately been having a lot of issues with access control and breaches (people not allowed to be there, being there.) so we have one officer who is in charge of training all of the officers in proper breach control. During his breach test, he failed and got a slap on the wrist. During mine, I passed but I missed a minor detail and got written up and... Read More » was told I was a step from being fired... the fuck?
uPick is a new feature on CollegeHumor where YOU the user upload a story or picture to a category. You then vote up or down these stories as you see fit.