I purchased my wife a Garmin watch that had GPS and heart rate monitor etc. Most importantly for her it shows how many calories she's burned. So one week after doing a lot of running and biking she starts talking about how many more calories she burned when she does exercises that keep her heart rate up above 80% her max. To which I leaned in and whispered in her ear that maybe... Read More »
Whether you're dating, in love, or just Facebook stalking, relationships are weird.
"Kids, let me tell you how your mother and I decided ...
I am an Army Ranger, and as such I periodically spend large amounts of time in the field (the forest). Some years ago after a particularly long field exercise where I spent a month with no shower, laundry, etc. (only baby wipes to the armpits and groin every now and then), I was smelling pretty rancid. I come home to find my girlfriend in a nice sheer negligee to greet me. She runs up and kisses me and as she pulls away the expression on her face is one I can only describe as having just smelled a particularly rancid dirty diaper. Without saying a word she begins to give me a blowjob as I stand there in the living room with my dirty, smelly uniform on. I tell her she doesn't have to do this now, i'll take a shower real quick then we can have fun. But she doesn't stop until after about a minute or so (before I finish), when she gets up and runs to the bathroom (I figure to wash the taste of my sweaty cock and balls out of her mouth). I strip down and enter the bathroom prepared to take a much needed shower and am greeted by the sight of her puking in the toilet. Finishing puking, she washes her mouth out in the sink. With a look of determination on her face she immediately begins the blowjob again, gagging several more times due to the putrid taste and smell. I finish after several minutes, thanking her for her dedication. I had never seen anyone so determined to give me a blowjob before, all things considered; so I married her and we have two kids now.
Dave Not Given |
The other day my girlfriend asked me to stick out my tongue. She then wrapped her lips around it, sucked and moved closer to me and then further away before breaking into laughter. She then exclaimed "I just gave your tongue a blow job!"
Jamie Denko |
One night me and a girl i had been dating were watching a movie when things started to get hot. This resulted in her giving me head and when I came it somehow found its way out her nose. Bit of an awkward moment, but one of our favorite stories.
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