I'm stuck with these three girls are nicknamed the "herpes whores" in a suite style dorm. They are trashy, nasty girls with respect for other people's stuff. I begun to lose my sanity when they were using a shit ton of my expensive salon brand conditioner. The stuff doesn't won't even work on their fake, bone dried hair because it's for non damaged, natural hair ONLY, yet they... Read More »
Return of the spiderfish
I posted a story a while back called "Spiderfish, spiderfish." This is the follow-up. It was indeed pants-wettingly hilarious when my roomie came shrieking into the room because of all the spiders in her car. She had to fumigate the thing thoroughly, and the chemicals have left a nice smell lingering in her seats. I kept my eyes peeled for her revenge in the days afterward, and sure enough, a little bit later a plate of delicious-looking fudge brownies appeared on the counter. Now, she knows I like chocolate, and I know she doesn't usually make treats like this, so I scouted around for the catch. Sure enough, there were empty boxes of laxative pills hidden in her wastebasket. Really? That is one of the most unoriginal tricks in the book, and I'm insulted that she thinks she could put one over on me so easily. As you may expect, I have a plan. I've been taking a brownie or two from the plate every day, not to eat, but to stash in an airtight container hidden in my closet. These will be used on some other poor bastard later. I've pretended to have the trots to give her her jollies, and have been making up something special in Bio lab. She's kind of dirty and lazy and rarely washes her clothes, so the build-up of dead skin cells should provide a nice environment for the slime molds I've been applying to random items of clothing in her closet. With a couple light spritzes of sugar water every now and then, it should start to grow very soon. I can't wait until you finally open that closet to something that looks like a shot from a David Cronenberg flick.
My friend and I always like to mess with each other. One day I had met this girl and things were going pretty well, but because I knew he used to be into her, I asked to see if it was ok. He promptly gave me the thumbs up, but, as part of our ongoing prank war, texted her asking her out for me, when we barely knew eachother. It quickly weirded her out and ruined my chances, but... Read More »
Well, I know now that you talk MAJOR shit about me with literally everyone I know... You know I have to say I'm not that surprised because it seems to be all that you do, but I thought we were close friends. I mean, I was the one to help you when you were embarrassingly throwing up all over yourself and others at a party while your longterm "marriage potential" boyfriend didn't... Read More »
- Hey, Hoe. Remember how you dumped me, saying how I treated you wrong, despite doing whatever I humanly could to help you out? Well, I found out your dirty, little secrets. How you cheated on me multiple times and even said the reason we're dating is so when I graduate, I'll be making money. Well, while going through your room, grabbing whatever that's mine, I found your weed... Read More »
you ran over my dog left her their for 2 hours then called me a pussy when i cryed cus she had to be put down so it was me who shit on your bed stole 300 from you and i also called your mom and told about your weed and booze and got you cut off good luck dick
You know the anonymous girl you complain about for breaking you and Mike up? It was me. I'm really sorry. I didn't know who you were then.