Roommate Confessions

You've done some bad stuff to your roommate. It's time to confess.

Roommate Confessions
uPick

I hate birds.

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My roommate for the last 3 years of college was a good friend and we got along great most of the time. That being said he was probably one of the hardest people to live with ever created. He had a super hot girlfriend (still does miraculously) who went to another school, who was really cool too. He was such an egomaniac that despite his own gift of a gf he had to compete with me for every single girl that I was interested in. Not only would he do this but he would sleep with these girls for weeks in a row, starting these creepy psuedorelationships all the while trying to get me to keep his real gf a secret and in the dark about the whole thing. His real gf would visit on the weekends and he would have these girls over all week. To add insult to injury he and whatever gutter slut he was in bed with would wake up as soon as the son came up, and rather than morning sex which I could understand they would start this never ending chain of little high pitched kissing noises, like some fckd up birds. So once that started I would politely say shut up. Than I resorted to haing handful of change or paperclips or something, I wouldsiply grab a handfl of and whip across the room. That didn\'t even stop him, so I would wake up and leave the room but as I left say goodbye to him and if it was a weekday I would say goodbye to his GF knowing full well she wasn\'t in the bed. The first time this happened, he sat straight up out of bed and glared at me while the girl grabbed all her shit and left the room. The bird noises didn\'t stop though so that weekend when his gf was there I did the same thing just said the name of the girl he had been banging all week. He somehow talked his way out of getting dumped, but I never heard a bird noise again.

Brian P |

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