Roommate Confessions

You've done some bad stuff to your roommate. It's time to confess.

Roommate Confessions
uPick

Swallow your pride.

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Senior year some friends and I got a house off campus and stacked it with 6 housemates, including this girl I didn't know going in who my friend said was "kind of cool, pretty hot." She was hot indeed, but she was into not doing her dishes, always taking my parking spot after I'd shoveled away the snow, and not paying her share of utilities despite cranking up the heat because she was cold all of the time. Bad blood started between us, and I decided I'd never want her to be happy ever again for the rest of her life. I'm not really sure how Points A and B are connected, but we end up drunk in one of those I-hate-you-I-want-you-fights-in-the-rain that I thought only happened in movies, went back to my room, and she went down on me with little provocation. I sensed something was up and finished as soon as possible. She swallowed, made her way back up my torso for the dreaded post-fellatio kiss, and right then I knew it was all an act; she had me right where she wanted. She spit my load back into my mouth. Suddenly reminded why I never want her to be happy, I licked my lips, smiled, and said, "How did you know?" The moral? Sometimes getting back at your housemate means swallowing your own semen.

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