Roommate Confessions

You've done some bad stuff to your roommate. It's time to confess.

Roommate Confessions
uPick

Two heart attacks. Hilarious!

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So my wife and I used to rent a house with one of my best friends, and we were pretty much the only white people in the entire neighborhood. Also, right down the street was a mental hospital and prison. My wife and I come home one night to see all the lights off and my roommate's truck in the drive way, he liked to sleep so we figured he was knocked out. We go in through the laundry room and into the kitchen, only turning on the kitchen light. We had a very large kitchen, so we finally get to the other side and as she turns around to face me, she lets out the most terrifying bone chilling scream I have ever heard. Immediately she digs her nails into my arms, drops to the ground and begins crying uncontrollably. Not having a clue what the hell is going on, I turn around to see a man standing in the corner of my kitchen in a full blue jumpsuit, Michael Myer's mask and wielding a butchers knife, breathing heavily. Instantly, I grab my chest feeling like I am about to have a heart attack as I fall to one knee. Ironically, my roommate also falls to the ground because the scream my wife let out almost gives him a heart attack as well. The best part was that I couldn't even get mad at him because I thought it was just too damn funny.

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