Roommate Confessions

You've done some bad stuff to your roommate. It's time to confess.

Roommate Confessions
uPick

I remember.

Up +50 Down

Roomate: I have something to confess to your fat, filthy, perpetual pajama wearing self. Do you recall how you left your unwrapped tampons in the trash after I specifically told you it disgusted me that your cat kept dragging them out and eating them on our living room floor? I DO. Also, do you recall not doing your dishes after you were the last one to leave for the month long X-Mas break and how I came back early for work and had to clean them before I could breath? I DO. Do you also remember how I kept asking you not to have sex with your pimply boyfriend at all hours because your air mattress makes squeaking sounds when it rubs up against my wall? I DO. So answer me this nasty bitch. Why did you have to buy five new air mattresses that year? And how come you got so sick after making that spaghetti supper for you and zit-face? And how come your plates and silverware kept disappearing? Oh right, because I kept poking little holes in your mattresses so that you and your sleeping boyfriend would deflate at 4am. I was also responsible for that extra iron taste in your spaghetti sauce courtesy of your own used tampon. While I am at it I guess I should also tell you that everytime you left your dishes in the sink for more than five days, I just threw them out. Whew, I feel so much better now that you know all this. Now will you move out? Love ya!

Comments ()