I just accidentally discovered a way to make fart noises with my neck and shoulder. I haven't felt so accomplished in years!
Yard of absinthe
A few months ago it was my roommate's 21st birthday party. We had about 30 or so people in our tiny house for predrinks (when us Britts get absolutely rat-arsed before going to a club). Predrinks were going great, and I thought it would be a good idea to get out my yard glass (a glass that holds five pints that has a bulb at the bottom, making it very tricky to drink from). So I pour in five pints of ale and leave it in its stand to settle. I can't remember what I was doing in the meantime (probably answering the call of nature), but when I came back and put the glass to my lips I caught the distinct smell of aniseed. My mate had decided he'd pour "a tiny bit" of my 90% alcohol absinthe in to this yard glass to make it not just a dirty pint but a dirty yard! I don't remember much of that night, save the fact that I finished that yard of ale like a boss!
Surprise dog time
I was studying today and an old man walked up to me with a dog, put the dog's leash down, and walked away without saying anything. I played with the dog for fifteen minutes until he came back with his lunch. This made my week.
#1
How to Mess With A Professor
So, in my final year of high school, I get this annoying professor who thinks that picking on me is the only motive in his class. Eventually making people and my parents believe that I don't study in his class, he poked the idea of private tutoring. So I faked my way and got his number. Phase 2: I started making multiple poster ads for garage sale, roommates needed, cleaning service... Read More »
#2
Get a Clue, Chubby
Everyone knows that Taco Bell is my favorite fast food place. So for Christmas, four different people got me Subway gift cards.
#3
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