Roommate Confessions

You've done some bad stuff to your roommate. It's time to confess.

Roommate Confessions
uPick

The Dish list.

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You were by far the Fattest, shortest, ugliest, and worst roommate I have ever met in my years of living with other people. You moved in in the middle of the year, after the two other roommates and I have lived together and have gotten along reasonably well. The first day you had the balls to try to get us to do the dishes on a schedule, which was an obvious plot to ensure that we would do all of your dishes. You stayed in your room all day eating and using dishes, so we simply let the dishes pile up and just washed one when we needed it (we were all slobs, so it was ok). You forced me to do the dishes because you threatened to call the cops on me for smoking pot. Fortunately, I knew my ex-football player roommate was up next on his dish "list." Sure enough you tried the same shit, and he called your fat ass out. You screamed and cried so much that someone called the cops on us. It took them forever to get there, so they missed your "assault" on my roommate (and subsequent ass-handing). Even the cops laughed when you asked them if they can make us do the dishes. You then found it necessary to go to the mini mart blubbering to the cashier that he needs to call the cops to arrest you. Which they do. We got trashed the night you got arrested even though we all had to get up early the next day because we thought you would be gone for good. They only held you for a few days, and when you got back you refused to move out, even though you had the option. When you finally moved, you and your fat ugly mom stole meaningless shit from us (we had a party that night too). You also tried to shamelessly hit on anything with a vagina, including our girlfriends. Your immensely pathetic existence (and knowing it will be yours for the rest of your life) was revenge enough.

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