I'm stuck with these three girls are nicknamed the "herpes whores" in a suite style dorm. They are trashy, nasty girls with respect for other people's stuff. I begun to lose my sanity when they were using a shit ton of my expensive salon brand conditioner. The stuff doesn't won't even work on their fake, bone dried hair because it's for non damaged, natural hair ONLY, yet they... Read More »
You almost killed me.
n college I had this full blown redneck, gun-totin republican douche of a roommate that would constantly sit around and get drunk by himself because nobody wanted to hang out with him. This guy would just sit on the couch in the living room, which just happened to be right underneath my room, and watch t.v. and drink whiskey all night. Well one night at about 3am I was awokenn by a loud bang and what felt like water sprinkling across my face. Turns out, this prick was sitting on the couch drunk and checking the action of his new rifle when it went off. The bullet went through the ceiling of the living room, missed my bed that I was sleeping in by two feet, went through my closet doors and out through the roof. The light sprinkling that I felt on my face was actually shatter glass from my mirrored covered closet doors being scattered all over my room. But, ya know, it's okay that you almost killed me in my sleep because you where drunk and playing with a loaded gun. It is I who will have the last laugh. Remember Dave how I was in pharmacy school and thus knew a lot about all the medications you were taking? Well good news, I am also the one who told you it was totally okay to take all that Tylenol whenever you had a headache and that it was also okay to take it even when you were drinking. Turns out, your abdominal pain and the yellowing of your skin isn't because you drink too much; it's actually because you are experiencing liver failure from the alcohol induced Tylenol toxicity. Maybe next time listen to your parents when they tell you not to play with guns.
John Johnson |
My friend and I always like to mess with each other. One day I had met this girl and things were going pretty well, but because I knew he used to be into her, I asked to see if it was ok. He promptly gave me the thumbs up, but, as part of our ongoing prank war, texted her asking her out for me, when we barely knew eachother. It quickly weirded her out and ruined my chances, but... Read More » I had to get him back. He thought he had a chance (he didn't) with a super hot girl at our school. When I offered him her number he took it. Secretly I gave him my other friend's #, who was pretending to be the girl. They texted and even set up plans. He had the awkwardest conversation the next day when, in person, he really did talk to the girl and asked "Why weren't you there?" She was so confused and it was always awkward between them.
Well, I know now that you talk MAJOR shit about me with literally everyone I know... You know I have to say I'm not that surprised because it seems to be all that you do, but I thought we were close friends. I mean, I was the one to help you when you were embarrassingly throwing up all over yourself and others at a party while your longterm "marriage potential" boyfriend didn't... Read More » help AT ALL and only held the umbrellas while I had to carry your drunk puke smelling heavy ass 7 blocks by myself? HA WELL ANYWAYS, so I know you're really into conditioning your hair since its curly and what not so I took the liberty of peeing in your fancy conditioner this morning when I took a shower. Sorry.
Amber Crowe |
- Hey, Hoe. Remember how you dumped me, saying how I treated you wrong, despite doing whatever I humanly could to help you out? Well, I found out your dirty, little secrets. How you cheated on me multiple times and even said the reason we're dating is so when I graduate, I'll be making money. Well, while going through your room, grabbing whatever that's mine, I found your weed... Read More » stash. I took whatever you had, leaving just enough for you to smoke in your pipe. Why? Because I wiped my ass with it. Oh, and you work hat, too.
you ran over my dog left her their for 2 hours then called me a pussy when i cryed cus she had to be put down so it was me who shit on your bed stole 300 from you and i also called your mom and told about your weed and booze and got you cut off good luck dick
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