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The 17th Beer

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That 17th beer, quite frankly, is pure bliss. The nectar of the Gods. You see, when you open that first bottle for the evening it's almost always to actually quench your thirst. Same with the second one. It's really no different to drinking two glasses of low-fat, gluten-free, sugar-reduced water that the fun police would have you consume. You're now still perfectly in control and capable of doing most things including making the decision to call it a night. After this however, things get interesting. The third and fourth are always the decider. These ones, when you open them, make you ask yourself "should I stay or should I go?" After these, that choice becomes incredibly difficult. You're now in that great mood where you know you could "have another couple of beers". This brings you, very soon, to the half-a-dozen mark. When you crack these, you know it's on. You my friend, will have a hard night. All between beers six and twelve do not matter. They are just a by-product of a great night out. Beer twelve however, is another decision maker. At a dozen, you can still go home and wake up just fine. A bit dodgy maybe, but generally you can contribute to your country that day. After this though, you cost your nation. Which brings us to beer 16. The bastard of them all. This one people, is the killer. The one that hurts. It's the epitome of headaches. The one you hate tomorrow. The 16th beer is what you drink when you're on top of the world, the life of the party. Things are great when this one is poured. It matters not anymore that you can't remember the words to that epic rock song the band is belting out; you'll scream along anyway with your left arm over your best mate's shoulder and your right hand clenching that beautiful bottle. But trust me, it will murder you in the morning. So you must, always, have one more. That 17th Beer. The Saviour. The one whose empty bottle you can look at in the morning and say "mate, because of the 16 before you I am in this state today. It's not you. I blame the others." And when the night is a distant memory and you're back to working for the Man, there'll be a little flicker of light once in a while that will put a smile on your face and remind you just how good a time was had. That shining light will be beer 17.

Samira Post | July 30, 2012

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