in 8th grade i was almost arested for selling fake pot at school to a kid and was kicked out of school for six weeks for selling some stuff i found on the ground
I Fought the Law
Jesus broke the law. So did George Washington. You did, too, and we want to hear about it.
DICTATE No.2: "Drive Carefully"
A few years back I was driving across the country in my Mustang GT, named Silver. I guess it was about midnight when I started making my way into one of the coolest and most unique cities in the entire US of A — Memphis, Tennessee. Memphis is one of those rare places that isn’t quite like anywhere else. It’s cool, hip, has its own flavor. In the south, surrounded by miles and miles of rural hillbillity, it really sticks out. Anyway, there I was, speeding past the signs reading: SPEED LIMIT ENFORCED BY AIRCRAFT “Enforced?” Is that really the right word there, yokels? You got planes that are gonna shoot out my tires, maybe drop a giant net on me? Regardless, as I’m hauling ass like a pro, all of a sudden I see another Mustang pull up beside me. Now, for those of you who haven’t owned Mustangs, this isn’t uncommon. We get into races with each other all the time — at least all of the post 2005 models, and anybody with 8 cylinders. The older models and those 6-cylinder jabronis don’t stand a chance. So, here I am, racing another GT. He starts pulling ahead a bit, and then, to my surprise there’s another Mustang pulling up right behind him, going just as fast. “Ah, a Memphisican standoff,” I smiled. “I dig.” So now the three of us are just rocketing down the city highways, blasting by toothless rednecks spitting their tobacco juice out in surprise. It’s a good ol’ fashioned Mustang hoedown. But then I realize, there’s headlights in my rear-view mirror staying steady with me, despite the fact I’m going at least 120 mph. A cop? No, it’s another Mustang. In fact, to my utter astonishment, I then realized that there’s twenty more Mustangs behind me! A Mustang gang — GT’s, Cobras, Shelbys — all soaring down this road. Yes, ladies and gentleman, while driving across the country I wandered into a Memphis Mustang race by accident. So now we’re hauling, like fucking NASCAR, through the highways of Jerry Lawler’s city. We’re going 125, 130, 135. And no one is dropping off, no one backing down. Then, as I take the bridge towards Arkansas, all the other Mustangs keep going the other way. “Damn it!” I scream, looking in my mirrors as all the lights fade into the distance. And then it happened. A man about 75 years old, thinning gray hair slicked back, rhinestone-studded cape over his shoulders, collided with my car. As he rolled over my hood, pills flew everywhere, and his face pressed up against my windshield in a snarl. Then, the force of impact still carrying him upward, he popped over the side of the bridge. Down he went, plummeting down into the Mississippi River. And the strangest thing: I could swear I heard him thanking me on his way down. “Jesus fucking Christ, Silver,” I said. “We gotta be more careful.”
I Fought the Law
Run-ins with the cops
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I Fought the Law
Run-ins with the cops
See All »
Strange sense of humour in this country.
This is a story of when I first moved to Austria. I lived in the outer edge of town, and often walked just outside the boarder to catch a train back into the city because THAT was faster. The suburban area was really quiet at night and I felt really free when I'd be coming home at 3am or whatever, so I would often take little shortcuts and walk through places that weren't meant... Read More »
#1
I Fought the Law
Run-ins with the cops
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Where's the snake?
When I was a junior in highschool randomly we would organize a fight club right after school. We would always get a huge crowd formed into a circle. One time the cops came and everyone ran off. I ran to a street a few blocks away with my friend. We thought we were in the clear, a cop drove up from behind and began talking to us. After a few minutes he messaged in on his radio "... Read More »
#2
I Fought the Law
Run-ins with the cops
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Campus Safety Takes a Hit
My friends and I bought a hookah around October, and being the fine, upstanding citizens that we are, we only smoke it outside, and not in our dorms, exactly twenty feet away from the door to our building. Now we, being college students, also love bud, and have been known to occasionally put some mary-j in our bowl along with the shisha. We've always gotten away with this, as... Read More »
#3
I Fought the Law
Run-ins with the cops
See All »
Blending in with the Environment
I had just gotten my real license 3 weeks earlier (after 6 months of a learners permit) and was out driving to my friend's house. I was in a quiet residential area out of the way, so I figured it would be fine to break the speed limit by about 10-15 mph since there were surely no cops around. But sure enough, I blazed past a police car, all the while doing 40 in a 25. There go... Read More »
#4
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