Roommate Confessions

You've done some bad stuff to your roommate. It's time to confess.

Roommate Confessions
uPick

You're gonna be a dad.

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My roommate for the first two months of my sophomore year was truly a piece of work. He was such a mooch, stealing everything from printer paper to tylenol to bottles of water... pretty much everything that wasn't locked down. He ate all my food too and never paid me back. He also had a habit of getting drunk, puking all over the place, and never cleaning it up. One night he was so trashed he came stumbling back, fell on my desk, broke my lamp and cracked the screen on my laptop. So when room change day came I had a plan. I never told him I was switching rooms, and on the day I moved out I stole pretty much everything of his except his electronics, clothes, and books. I opened up his Xbox and cut the wires to the cooling fans so he'd fry it the next time he wanted to play guitar hero at 3 in the morning. I also loosened the bolts on his bed so after enough rocking back and forth it would eventually collapse. And for the icing on the cake, I found his stash of condoms and poked holes in every single one... hope your dog of a girlfriend has enough sense to dump your sorry butt!

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