I'm stuck with these three girls are nicknamed the "herpes whores" in a suite style dorm. They are trashy, nasty girls with respect for other people's stuff. I begun to lose my sanity when they were using a shit ton of my expensive salon brand conditioner. The stuff doesn't won't even work on their fake, bone dried hair because it's for non damaged, natural hair ONLY, yet they... Read More »
Dear fat smelly scum, You are, by far, the worst roommate known to man. You were drunk or high a solid 97% of the time. You did not feel the need for showers. The room you lived in, STILL smells. And please, quit trying to blame the smell on my dog, as I stated before, he still smells better than you, and probably always will. Your fat ass ate all my food and drank all my beer, and when confronted about it tried to play dumb, "It wasn't me. I dont know who ate/drank it." Like I was born yesterday. You couldn't even pay your bills on time because you were that much of an alcoholic and druggie. Well, I am ready to confess. When I came home from work one day and found that you had ate the last of my food, I snapped. What little food you did have, I fed to to stray cat on the block or put down the garbage disposal. Those DVD's on the counter? Yeah, I was the one who smashed those. Never knew DVD's could break so easily when hit against a counter. Your clothes? I sprayed them all with bleach. Hey, at least bleach smells better than you did. And finally, I scrubbed the toilet, yes the toilet with the very large ring of mold around it, that you crapped in everyday, that had not been cleaned in well over 4 months, well, I scrubbed it clean with your toothbrush. Go to hell, jackass. :)
My friend and I always like to mess with each other. One day I had met this girl and things were going pretty well, but because I knew he used to be into her, I asked to see if it was ok. He promptly gave me the thumbs up, but, as part of our ongoing prank war, texted her asking her out for me, when we barely knew eachother. It quickly weirded her out and ruined my chances, but... Read More » I had to get him back. He thought he had a chance (he didn't) with a super hot girl at our school. When I offered him her number he took it. Secretly I gave him my other friend's #, who was pretending to be the girl. They texted and even set up plans. He had the awkwardest conversation the next day when, in person, he really did talk to the girl and asked "Why weren't you there?" She was so confused and it was always awkward between them.
Well, I know now that you talk MAJOR shit about me with literally everyone I know... You know I have to say I'm not that surprised because it seems to be all that you do, but I thought we were close friends. I mean, I was the one to help you when you were embarrassingly throwing up all over yourself and others at a party while your longterm "marriage potential" boyfriend didn't... Read More » help AT ALL and only held the umbrellas while I had to carry your drunk puke smelling heavy ass 7 blocks by myself? HA WELL ANYWAYS, so I know you're really into conditioning your hair since its curly and what not so I took the liberty of peeing in your fancy conditioner this morning when I took a shower. Sorry.
- Hey, Hoe. Remember how you dumped me, saying how I treated you wrong, despite doing whatever I humanly could to help you out? Well, I found out your dirty, little secrets. How you cheated on me multiple times and even said the reason we're dating is so when I graduate, I'll be making money. Well, while going through your room, grabbing whatever that's mine, I found your weed... Read More » stash. I took whatever you had, leaving just enough for you to smoke in your pipe. Why? Because I wiped my ass with it. Oh, and you work hat, too.
you ran over my dog left her their for 2 hours then called me a pussy when i cryed cus she had to be put down so it was me who shit on your bed stole 300 from you and i also called your mom and told about your weed and booze and got you cut off good luck dick
uPick is a new feature on CollegeHumor where YOU the user upload a story or picture to a category. You then vote up or down these stories as you see fit.