I purchased my wife a Garmin watch that had GPS and heart rate monitor etc. Most importantly for her it shows how many calories she's burned. So one week after doing a lot of running and biking she starts talking about how many more calories she burned when she does exercises that keep her heart rate up above 80% her max. To which I leaned in and whispered in her ear that maybe... Read More »
Whether you're dating, in love, or just Facebook stalking, relationships are weird.
Sore in not the good way...
After a particularly intoxicated 4th of July on the boat with my gf and parents, everyone went inside the house leaving me and my girl alone around a bonfire in the backyard. We start getting frisky, her seated in my lap wearing tight nylon yoga pants, which I pull down a few inches for obvious reasons. After about 25 minutes of action, my Mom stumbles out, totally inebriated, to talk to us. Immediately, I put my arms around my girl's waist to conceal what we were doing so it looked like we were just cuddling. My Mom launches into an hour plus long rant completely oblivious that I was still inside my gf. She pretends to listen, nodding along awkwardly where appropriate but I eventually grow bored. To counteract this, I began moving and slowly thrusting/gyrating beneath her, trying my best to stealthily evoke a reaction from her. The rest of the hour consisted of strained smiles and repeated elbow shots to my ribs while I tried to hide my giggling. Mom didn't even realize she was interrupting anything until I told her the next day.
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