I'm stuck with these three girls are nicknamed the "herpes whores" in a suite style dorm. They are trashy, nasty girls with respect for other people's stuff. I begun to lose my sanity when they were using a shit ton of my expensive salon brand conditioner. The stuff doesn't won't even work on their fake, bone dried hair because it's for non damaged, natural hair ONLY, yet they... Read More »
They killed my kitten.
Back in the day I used to live with my then girlfriend (now wife of 3 years) and another couple in a house we rented. These people were the worst human beings I have ever met. They would bring home random strangers from the bar almost every night and shit would always turn up missing. They would blast music until 4 or 5 am every night. On top of that they were directly responsible for killing a kitten (that they had supposedly "rescued" from their friends house) and killing a pet lizard they kept... all of this is just the tip of the iceberg kids.... So we were getting ready to move out of the place and we started plotting a way to exact a small amount of revenge for their transgressions. I knew both of them would always iron their clothes every morning (He worked at a used car dealership if that tells you anything) so I decided to give them a gift that would keep on giving. I started by taking the iron from their closet and pouring out all of the water that makes the steam. I then proceeded to refill the water reservoir with some of my steaming hot piss. I also decided to top it all off by pissing on their pillows and bed sheets. I can't tell you how happy I was watching them iron their clothes the next few days with the faint aroma of hot, steamy urine filling the air. Of course, being the good natured roommate that I am, I made sure to top it back off the day that we moved out, ensuring another week of piss-steamed clothes for those douche-fucks.
Dave Sunderland |
My friend and I always like to mess with each other. One day I had met this girl and things were going pretty well, but because I knew he used to be into her, I asked to see if it was ok. He promptly gave me the thumbs up, but, as part of our ongoing prank war, texted her asking her out for me, when we barely knew eachother. It quickly weirded her out and ruined my chances, but... Read More » I had to get him back. He thought he had a chance (he didn't) with a super hot girl at our school. When I offered him her number he took it. Secretly I gave him my other friend's #, who was pretending to be the girl. They texted and even set up plans. He had the awkwardest conversation the next day when, in person, he really did talk to the girl and asked "Why weren't you there?" She was so confused and it was always awkward between them.
Well, I know now that you talk MAJOR shit about me with literally everyone I know... You know I have to say I'm not that surprised because it seems to be all that you do, but I thought we were close friends. I mean, I was the one to help you when you were embarrassingly throwing up all over yourself and others at a party while your longterm "marriage potential" boyfriend didn't... Read More » help AT ALL and only held the umbrellas while I had to carry your drunk puke smelling heavy ass 7 blocks by myself? HA WELL ANYWAYS, so I know you're really into conditioning your hair since its curly and what not so I took the liberty of peeing in your fancy conditioner this morning when I took a shower. Sorry.
Amber Crowe |
- Hey, Hoe. Remember how you dumped me, saying how I treated you wrong, despite doing whatever I humanly could to help you out? Well, I found out your dirty, little secrets. How you cheated on me multiple times and even said the reason we're dating is so when I graduate, I'll be making money. Well, while going through your room, grabbing whatever that's mine, I found your weed... Read More » stash. I took whatever you had, leaving just enough for you to smoke in your pipe. Why? Because I wiped my ass with it. Oh, and you work hat, too.
you ran over my dog left her their for 2 hours then called me a pussy when i cryed cus she had to be put down so it was me who shit on your bed stole 300 from you and i also called your mom and told about your weed and booze and got you cut off good luck dick
uPick is a new feature on CollegeHumor where YOU the user upload a story or picture to a category. You then vote up or down these stories as you see fit.