If I owned a Great Dane I would name it Peeve. That way I could introduce him to people as my biggest pet, Peeve.
Do you have what it takes to do standup? Of course not, so post your jokes here instead.
A man goes to the hospital to visit his Chinese neighbour, who's on life-support. When he comes near his bed, his neighbour screams something in Chinese, and then dies. A month later, the man goes to his neighbour's funeral to hold a speech, saying ''I still remember the last thing he said to me''. He then repeats his neighbour's last words, and the neigbour's family is shocked. Confused, the man asks his neigbour's widow what he just said, and she replies: It means ''You're standing on my Oxygen tube asshole!''
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