I purchased my wife a Garmin watch that had GPS and heart rate monitor etc. Most importantly for her it shows how many calories she's burned. So one week after doing a lot of running and biking she starts talking about how many more calories she burned when she does exercises that keep her heart rate up above 80% her max. To which I leaned in and whispered in her ear that maybe... Read More »
Whether you're dating, in love, or just Facebook stalking, relationships are weird.
I've been dating this great guy for almost 2 years, we are very close but we still havent reached the stage where we are comfortable farting around each other. i personally cant blame the dude, i have an 8 year old's sense of humor (as does everyone else on this site) and mercilessly laugh at Chanel No.2, i am a 24 year old girl btw. anyways, so i obviously cant blampf infrotn of him (or even let him know THAT i fart) because he doesnt rip ass around me. (this one time though i placed my hand on his stomach while we were laying in bed watching a scary movie and he tightened up his muscles and WHOOPS! his six pack wasnt the only thing that came out, a little scented scream came out too, i laughed until i cried. real smooth, i know.) Well, so I was presented with a conundrum at the beginning of our relationship. When we hang out we drink a lot of beer. Beer makes people trouser cough! WELL SHIT. i fart all the time, especially after drinking beer - and tomato soup, just like every one else. I used to utilize loud coughs/sneezes to disguise a sneakin butt bomb. But thats kids stuff now. After months and months of fart disguise, ive developed a few farting ninja moves. When i feel a back blast comin on ill reach back, separate my cheeks, cup the fart, close it up in my hand and either smash it into the side of the bed or a blanket (or sometimes ive thrown it in my sisters face on special occasions) its absolutely silent and the handheld aerosolized stool dissipates into whatever i shove it into. hopefully he hasnt noticed me fishin around in my butt too much though... HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
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