Roommate Confessions

You've done some bad stuff to your roommate. It's time to confess.

Roommate Confessions
uPick

Crab meat shoebox.

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This is not really a confession since you were there when I did it, but this story is too funny not to tell. All year I was pretty much a perfect roommate considering I was never there and slept at my girlfriends nearly every night, meaning you could sit around and jerk it to anime porn and play video games all day. I even invited you out to a few parties because it was too depressing to think of you spending every weekend of your first year of college drinking your mom's stolen tequila by yourself in the dorms. At the end of the year when I moved out why did you rip my red hot chili peppers poster in half and then come show me it down the hall? Well you got what you deserved when my friends and I filled a shoebox with canned crab meet, our collective ass wipes on tissue paper, and pretty much any rotten food we could find; and then hid it behind your entertainment center. Of course I couldn't resist the temptation to piss on a long tube sock and slap you across the face with it as you lay passed out in a drunken tequila stupor. The best part is when you woke up and we told you what we were doing and you told me OK, but only for ten more seconds and then you are going to get mad.

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