Roommate Confessions

You've done some bad stuff to your roommate. It's time to confess.

Roommate Confessions
uPick

Fidel Gastro.

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When you asked to move into our house to live with your boyfriend, we said yes because we didn't know you would leave pizza boxes and mcdonalds bags around the house. We also didn't know that a chick could make such pronounced grunting pig noises during sex. Well to my elation, it has now been over a year since I've seen your fat ass and I have some things to say. First of all, if you ever wondered why when you'd walk into the house you'd often hear the phrase "smithers, who is that gastropod?", we were alluding to you. We called you gastopod because you are fat. Second of all, due to your dictator-like regime over our roomate, we thought it'd be fitting to make fun of your fascist and fat ways in one tidy nickname...Fidel Gastro. Lastly, remember how you guys didn't make it to our year end keg party but came to move the last few things out of your room the next day? Remember how your massive, pink, moo moo dress (that you shamelessly used as a full sized window curtain) smelled funny? My girlfriend told you that someone had probably just spilled beer on it, to which you replied, "it doesn't smell like beer". Well to your credit, your snout was working well that day. I pissed on your moo moo.

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