An elderly woman had three cats that she was very close to. One day, one of the three cats died. She hated to part with any of them so she buried the first one in her back yard. Later on, the second one died. She buired that one near her back steps. A few years later, the third one died. She refused to bury the third one so she put it in a small satchel and carried it around... Read More »
So the chemist and the farmer ...
A farmer who keeps a herd of cows is becoming more and more concerned by the way that each night, another one becomes pregnant, and he's running out of barn space for all these new calfs. He tells his problems to a bartender in the local tavern when a chemist from the corner approaches him : "I over herd you're conversation and thought I might have a solution for you" and with that he pulls out a cannister labelled 'Argon' and continues "spray this around your barn and you won't have you're problem ever again. The confused farmer looks to him and says "how is this going to help ?" To the reply of "Don't you Know ... Argon's a no bull gas"
This is rediculous! I've been sitting at my table for two hours and the waiter still hasn't taken my order! I'm never coming to McDonalds again!
If I owned a Great Dane I would name it Peeve. That way I could introduce him to people as my biggest pet, Peeve.
The worst part about accidently rubbing deodorant into your eye is that it won't let you have any tears to cry it out.