Rants

Tell us how you really feel.

Rants
uPick

Tweets From Abe Lincoln, Star of the Hit Film Lincoln ( ...

Up -3 Down
Tweets From Abe Lincoln, Star of the Hit Film Lincoln  (In Theatres Now)

You know why they didn’t make a movie about George Washington? Because no one gives a crap about that damn cherry tree story. I don’t take off work for my birthday… so explain to me why the hell the rest of the country does? After everything I’ve done for this country, how do they pay me back? By putting my picture on the damn penny!! The penny!!!! What an insult!!!” Shout-out to Daniel Day-Lewis, who, out of respect to me, didn’t try and mimic my real-life squeaky girly voice. Great news…my log cabin is being featured in this month’s Log Cabin Digest. Chicks dig my beard. Don’t tell anyone but I used Wikipedia as a source when I wrote The Gettysburg Address. Things to do today: 1. Buy milk 2. Free the slaves 3. Get a haircut Going to the theatre tonight. Should be a blast. (Too soon?) Honest Abe, my ass I will lie and cheat all day long to get what I want. I’m gangsta! Lincoln Logs. Never made a dime from them. Not a dime. I knew I shouldn’t have hired a lawyer who wasn’t Jewish. Highlight of my career? Meeting Spielberg. Although he should have taken my advice and shelled out more money to make my film in 3D.

|

Comments ()