“All of these cops here and not one of them arrests Roger Daltrey? Isn’t there a law that senior citizens can’t take their shirts off in public?” “There are more wrinkles onstage here tonight than there are in a roomful of Shar-Pei puppies.” “Man, this concert is amazing… I can’t wait for the next disaster concert.” “This Roger Waters guy sounds just like Pink Floyd.” “The Stones only played two songs because of ObamaCare.” “Why is Billy Crystal here? This has nothing to do with the Yankees. Plus, he’s not funny.” “Kanye West is up next…let’s go to the men’s room.” (Every white guy in the audience) “Kanye’s up next…Hey, where’s everyone going?” (The one black guy in the audience) “What’s today’s date?”