I happen to be chronically ill, since i was about 17. Last time i visited my specialist, and i complained about being SO tired all the time and that it depressed me, he told me, i should view my disease and myself differently. He said: "Having Crohns disease, is like being an athlete, it's top sport for the body to deal with it, it's natural for you to be so tired,...it's the... Read More »
got them nike's?
So I work at a shoe store and i work at a downtown location so there's a lot of tourists who come in, try things on and leave without buying anything. One day this man walks in, I greet him, he comes straight towards me and says "ayyy man, ughh you got them Nike's? i saw them online" I responded with "was it off of our website" and he says, "nahh, they were in a magazine I found in my house, do you got them". he then asked me if we carried any shoes by Nike, I said yes, and I showed him to the men's section. He then stopped me and said, "wait hold up, man this ain't the women's section?". So I showed him to the women's section was on the opposite side of the store. He scanned the wall for about 3 minutes and then asked if we offered a military discount. I said "yes, we offer 20% off to anybody in the military with an active ID, i'm sorry are you in the military?". And this is the part that kills me. The man then responds by saying " nah i ain't in the military but my daddy was, he was killed in Vietnam about 20 to 45 years ago, i ain't got his ID tho". He asked if I could still spot him the discount and I said no, he was then angered and pulled out a stack of money from his pocket and yelled "well shit it looks like ya'll just lost a sale, I always be buying bookoo's amount of shoes up in dis store, man fuck dis shit, yall some prejudice ass mother fuckas!" as he was walking out the store and waving the stack of cash in the air like he was trying to fan the sun.
Gilberto Andres Tremillo (Gilbert Tremillo) |
Several years ago I worked with a overnight delivery company. It wasn't unusual to run into all sorts of dogs when you made a delivery (including nasty ones.) One day, I walked up to a lady's house where the front door was open. As soon as I rang the bell, I heard the jingle of dog tags & realized I was too far away from the vehicle to get back there in time, so I braced myself.... Read More » of the door run 4 GREAT DANES, who start to circle me & are growling. The lady comes out, signs for the package, & walks back in the house, leaving her pack circling me, snapping at me & growling. I yell out "Ma'am, would you please come get your dogs", to which she replies "Oh, they won't hurt you." It was about this time they got more aggressive & nipped at my legs. Finally after yelling at her that her dogs were starting to bite me, she comes out, tells to dogs to go inside, looks at me & says "Oh you poor frightened boy...you're just not a dog person are you?" Needless to say, anytime someones front door was open after that, I just honked the horn.
I work at Wal-Mart as a Wireless Sales Associate (basically electronics), and we have this one reoccurring older African-American customer who comes in with the assumption that we are some type of IT or Geek Squad. Well anyways, he comes in about a week ago, and brings his laptop. The laptop that he has is a Compact with Windows XP (a bit outdated I must say). Anyways, he pulls... Read More » it out, and opens up some program that is similar to PowerPoint (I guess, the XP version?) and tells me that some guy is stealing his credit and plagiarizing the trademark "Civil Rights", which baffled my mind. He wanted me to save a copy of his document, that he opened up on his mind you, so he can sue him for copyright infringement. I just looked at him confused, and literally had to listen to him rant for half an hour (before dumping him onto another associate for another hour) about how he stole his thunder and how computers are confusing. The next day, he calls the store, and begins asking me as to why his keys aren't working, I just let out a sigh and told him to call Compact (basically dumping him onto them). Moral of the story, please learn how to use a computer and don't bring it to a retail store and expect them to fix it.
I work private security, we have lately been having a lot of issues with access control and breaches (people not allowed to be there, being there.) so we have one officer who is in charge of training all of the officers in proper breach control. During his breach test, he failed and got a slap on the wrist. During mine, I passed but I missed a minor detail and got written up and... Read More » was told I was a step from being fired... the fuck?
uPick is a new feature on CollegeHumor where YOU the user upload a story or picture to a category. You then vote up or down these stories as you see fit.