Roommate Confessions

You've done some bad stuff to your roommate. It's time to confess.

Roommate Confessions
uPick

Dog shit soap.

Up 0 Down

I came in your conditioner and I pissed in your shampoo. I also put flecks of dog shit in your body wash - so no those aren't exfoliating beads. I also fucked 3 different guys in your bed and hid their used condoms around your house and in two of the guestrooms, so when your new room mates find it, they'll be too disgusted to stay. I sabotaged your boyfriends computer because he's a fat fuck who sits around the house and plays wow all day while you let the dishes pile up for 3 weeks. I saw your cat get eaten by a coyote and I did nothing but stand by and watch even though there was a bat in my mind. Oh and there's so much more, and I know you're still writhing in pain from the hell I've left you two in. I know this because I also keylogged your computers to gain access to your "private" online journals. Fucking pathetic, you walk around on your high horse like you're queen of the world, but now I see that you're nothing but a bulimic bitch with serious self-esteem issues and your boyfriend's biggest concern is how small his dick is. Thanks for lying about stealing my wallet and opening 5 credit carts under my social security # and running up $10,000 in debt in my name. I got that all cleared up and now you're both sitting in prison with my piss and jizz in your hair and your dog shit smothered all over your body.

Comments ()