I'm stuck with these three girls are nicknamed the "herpes whores" in a suite style dorm. They are trashy, nasty girls with respect for other people's stuff. I begun to lose my sanity when they were using a shit ton of my expensive salon brand conditioner. The stuff doesn't won't even work on their fake, bone dried hair because it's for non damaged, natural hair ONLY, yet they... Read More »
Fat, Gross, and Dumb
Hey Girls! Remember how the two of you constantly tell me to break up with my boyfriend, because he lives "too far away", even though you know he's in Afghanistan? And how you take 3 hours in the bathroom each morning, then yell at me for making us late to school? And do you remember how you call me stupid, even though you have GPAs of 2.0 OR LOWER, and the only shows you could comprehend were Futurama and American Dad (good shows for a laugh, but seriously)? Oh, and remember how you would blab forever about being "independent", even though neither of you have a job and have a Mommy and Daddy that pay your rent? Well, I'm amused that you've both started Weight Watchers, and have goal weights that are 50 pounds heavier than I weigh (eat some vegetables!) You wanna know why you haven't been losing weight? Well, since I'm the only one who ever cooks, everything I've been making has been out of the Paula Deen cookbook and laden with butter and cream. And when a guy asks me about you (which is rare) I just tell them about all the times you've thought you had an STD or yeast infection. Maybe you should wash your vag during those 3 hour showers. Enjoy being fat and single, and I'll enjoy my boyfriend.
Lizzie Marie |
My friend and I always like to mess with each other. One day I had met this girl and things were going pretty well, but because I knew he used to be into her, I asked to see if it was ok. He promptly gave me the thumbs up, but, as part of our ongoing prank war, texted her asking her out for me, when we barely knew eachother. It quickly weirded her out and ruined my chances, but... Read More » I had to get him back. He thought he had a chance (he didn't) with a super hot girl at our school. When I offered him her number he took it. Secretly I gave him my other friend's #, who was pretending to be the girl. They texted and even set up plans. He had the awkwardest conversation the next day when, in person, he really did talk to the girl and asked "Why weren't you there?" She was so confused and it was always awkward between them.
Well, I know now that you talk MAJOR shit about me with literally everyone I know... You know I have to say I'm not that surprised because it seems to be all that you do, but I thought we were close friends. I mean, I was the one to help you when you were embarrassingly throwing up all over yourself and others at a party while your longterm "marriage potential" boyfriend didn't... Read More » help AT ALL and only held the umbrellas while I had to carry your drunk puke smelling heavy ass 7 blocks by myself? HA WELL ANYWAYS, so I know you're really into conditioning your hair since its curly and what not so I took the liberty of peeing in your fancy conditioner this morning when I took a shower. Sorry.
Amber Crowe |
- Hey, Hoe. Remember how you dumped me, saying how I treated you wrong, despite doing whatever I humanly could to help you out? Well, I found out your dirty, little secrets. How you cheated on me multiple times and even said the reason we're dating is so when I graduate, I'll be making money. Well, while going through your room, grabbing whatever that's mine, I found your weed... Read More » stash. I took whatever you had, leaving just enough for you to smoke in your pipe. Why? Because I wiped my ass with it. Oh, and you work hat, too.
you ran over my dog left her their for 2 hours then called me a pussy when i cryed cus she had to be put down so it was me who shit on your bed stole 300 from you and i also called your mom and told about your weed and booze and got you cut off good luck dick
uPick is a new feature on CollegeHumor where YOU the user upload a story or picture to a category. You then vote up or down these stories as you see fit.