I purchased my wife a Garmin watch that had GPS and heart rate monitor etc. Most importantly for her it shows how many calories she's burned. So one week after doing a lot of running and biking she starts talking about how many more calories she burned when she does exercises that keep her heart rate up above 80% her max. To which I leaned in and whispered in her ear that maybe... Read More »
Whether you're dating, in love, or just Facebook stalking, relationships are weird.
Back in the day
So i used to work at one of those little t-shirt stores on the Board walk in Ocean city right. My game was simple.. I'd hook em up with discounts n get thier numbers, try n see some skin using body jewllery or telling them to try lil hoochie dresses and tryn get in thier pants etc. So one time I managed to get this girl in the dressing room n she was tiny as hell...Usually I hit it from the back standing up, but with her it was just impossible cuz im 6'2" and extra skinny. So i decided to pick this girl up..bad idea this dressing room is extra small so she bracing against the walls and im trying to use my nonexistent biceps to do the up and down motion..needles to say i aint had to bother, it was one of the hottest positions I've ever been in and that joint was hitting so right a minute into the whole thing I was like(in my head) damn im already bout to come..as im busting right, I get all weak-legged, jiggly and im in my I-don't know-what-to-do-with-my-entire-body siezure moments; So I end up loosing my balance and crashing back into the dressing room door which is held closed just by a simple hook lock, bust that joint open fall on my ass, crack my skull and tail bone with this little thing all up on me. Pain, pleasure and shock of the fall, the moment and people shrieking and just the whole confusion of the situation mixed together and blinded me for a second then as the little little thing jumps off me, I see this oozing trail of what looks like blood and other thick viscous juices coming out her vagagay and all over my jock and legs...This is all happeneing in a matter of seconds with my coworker, some cusomers and the henna tattoo artist gawking at me... The girl jumps up, get backs in there, speed-dressed and ran out before I could get over the disgust of just witnessing a horrific end to a nice sexual encounter. So after it was all said and done, I still look back and think whats worst than nursing my injured ego and bruised body parts was not knowing if all that oozy stuff was cuz of her period and I dont think she was a virgin cuz virgins dont do random sex like that or GOD HELP ME if she just had a busteda** punany full of some clamydia or other god awful germ infested yuck stuff. i know What ur thinking...atleast she ain't break my jon falling down..oh well c'est la vie I guess smh
One night me and a girl i had been dating were watching a movie when things started to get hot. This resulted in her giving me head and when I came it somehow found its way out her nose. Bit of an awkward moment, but one of our favorite stories.
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