I'm stuck with these three girls are nicknamed the "herpes whores" in a suite style dorm. They are trashy, nasty girls with respect for other people's stuff. I begun to lose my sanity when they were using a shit ton of my expensive salon brand conditioner. The stuff doesn't won't even work on their fake, bone dried hair because it's for non damaged, natural hair ONLY, yet they... Read More » still use it and complain why their scalps are oily. I had enough of their antics. Once that conditioner bottle was finished, I went out to buy 3 things: the same brand conditioner, but different type so it was a gold bottle as well as some cheap conditioner bought from an Asian market. The final item was Nair Shower Power Max (tough enough to get thick, coarse even.) I emptied the gold bottle's content to my old conditioner bottle and then filled the gold bottle with a mixture of half cheap conditioner and half Nair. To even "warn" those whores, I put a label that said, "Do not use or hair will fall out" before placing it back on the bathroom shelf. Those idiots did not heed the warning and used nearly a quarter of the bottle. Now their hair is falling out and they resemble what they are: crappy attitude = crappy hair. I do not regret a single thing and I never got in trouble with the RAs because it's my stuff. That teaches them to never use people's stuff without permission or else the consequences will be dire.

My friend and I always like to mess with each other. One day I had met this girl and things were going pretty well, but because I knew he used to be into her, I asked to see if it was ok. He promptly gave me the thumbs up, but, as part of our ongoing prank war, texted her asking her out for me, when we barely knew eachother. It quickly weirded her out and ruined my chances, but... Read More » I had to get him back. He thought he had a chance (he didn't) with a super hot girl at our school. When I offered him her number he took it. Secretly I gave him my other friend's #, who was pretending to be the girl. They texted and even set up plans. He had the awkwardest conversation the next day when, in person, he really did talk to the girl and asked "Why weren't you there?" She was so confused and it was always awkward between them.

Well, I know now that you talk MAJOR shit about me with literally everyone I know... You know I have to say I'm not that surprised because it seems to be all that you do, but I thought we were close friends. I mean, I was the one to help you when you were embarrassingly throwing up all over yourself and others at a party while your longterm "marriage potential" boyfriend didn't... Read More » help AT ALL and only held the umbrellas while I had to carry your drunk puke smelling heavy ass 7 blocks by myself? HA WELL ANYWAYS, so I know you're really into conditioning your hair since its curly and what not so I took the liberty of peeing in your fancy conditioner this morning when I took a shower. Sorry.

- Hey, Hoe. Remember how you dumped me, saying how I treated you wrong, despite doing whatever I humanly could to help you out? Well, I found out your dirty, little secrets. How you cheated on me multiple times and even said the reason we're dating is so when I graduate, I'll be making money. Well, while going through your room, grabbing whatever that's mine, I found your weed... Read More » stash. I took whatever you had, leaving just enough for you to smoke in your pipe. Why? Because I wiped my ass with it. Oh, and you work hat, too.

You know the anonymous girl you complain about for breaking you and Mike up? It was me. I'm really sorry. I didn't know who you were then.

So, you know how I work really hard and have to go in early every day? And you know how you stay up late every night, smoking weed in the living room (right outside my bedroom door) with all the windows shut, have loud sex with your stoner girlfriend in the shower (also right next to my bedroom) and do absolutely no work and never attend class? And how you rip on me constantly... Read More » for being gay and joke that I must just lo-oove sticking my fingers (among other things) up my ass? Well, guess what. I just did. And then I wiped my hands all over your cutlery set out for your romantic, pre-bong valentines meal, without washing my hands. Enjoy your dinner.