Apparently nobody is getting any action these days. 2 weeks and only 2 or 3 stories?

My ex-girlfriend thought Alaska and Hawaii were south of California because that's where they are always shown on maps of America.

I've always been a bit self-conscious about my inverted nipple, but my girlfriend made me feel a lot better when she said she just finds it funny. According to her, it looks like my right boob stabbed the left out of jealousy.

The other day my girlfriend asked me to stick out my tongue. She then wrapped her lips around it, sucked and moved closer to me and then further away before breaking into laughter. She then exclaimed "I just gave your tongue a blow job!"

One night me and a girl i had been dating were watching a movie when things started to get hot. This resulted in her giving me head and when I came it somehow found its way out her nose. Bit of an awkward moment, but one of our favorite stories.

every weekend my girlfriend comes over. she brings packs of bacon and some condoms. we then spend the next 2 days mostly in bed; watching TV, playing on my ps3 and having sex a few times a day with her cooking us meals in between...