Classroom

I had to take a psychology class in college. When it came time for the midterm, you could tell that things were tense in the lecture hall. The professor handed out the tests and everyone was getting started. Suddenly someone's phone started to ring. The person answers the phone and says loudly "What? A fire, at the children's hospital?! I'm on my way!" The guy then stands up and... Read More »nds up and rips off his shirt revealing a superman shirt and cape underneath. He runs across the stage screaming "Up, up and away!" Trips and runs out of the room. Everyone is a little stunned for a moment, then finally the professor says "And that is why there is good money in psychology."

A couple weeks ago in Science class, we were learning about the female reproductive system. After about 10 minutes, a girl raises her hand and says, "Wait, isn't the vagina the same as the anus?" So my teacher explains that you pee out of one hole and poop out of another, while the boys in class are holding back laughter. A while later, when someone asked about anal sex, the same... Read More » girl raises her hand and asks, "But how would you know which hole is which?!" By now, the guys are laughing hysterically, and even my teacher is holding back giggles as he says, "When the time comes, you'll know; trust me."

I go to a pretty violent school, and one day a couple of kids had to be arrested and dragged off by the cops. The principal dragged us all into an assembaly and told us that "No kids were tasered during the arrest" and "No one has ever been tasered at our school" A kid at the back stood up and shouted "CHALLENGE ACCPTED!!!"

Sophomore year when my whole class had to take the PSATs in a big room, we were filling out the dumb "about you" questions as a group, like ethnicity and state you want to go to college. When we got to the religious affiliation, they had a million to choose, from atheist to latvian orthodox, etc. Just as I was thinking what the f*** should I put to be a smartass, some kid raises... Read More » his hand and says "Yo, they don't have Jedi on the list, what should I do?"

In school we were in chemistry and discussing densities. The teacher began discussing that frozen water (Ice) is less dense than it's liquid state and will float in water. The girl insisted that if it was a really heavy piece of ice it would sink.

In my philosophy class someone fell asleep. The instructor told the student sitting next to him to wake his friend up. He replied "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"

I was doing my student teaching as a history teacher and we began to talk about being arrested. One of the slacker/morons said that he had gotten away with murder multiple times and never been suspected. Another student asked who he supposedly killed when the quiet student spoke up and said it wasn't a person he's murdered his grade the past 3 years.

While looking at paintings from ancient northern Africa in my Ancient Near East History class, the professor shows us a slide that has a painting of African women picking reeds from a riverbank, which he dictates to us. The genius in my class who always had to be the expert on everything, says to the professor, "What indicates that they're women? Is it their hats? Or clothing?"... Read More » The professor replied, "I think it might be their breasts."

One day in 4th year of secondary school (Irish school system, we were about 16/17 at this stage), a girl in my class was talking about how she goes to the shop to buy ice. She was then shocked to discover that ice was just frozen water and that you could make it at home...

During a class, the teacher was discussing the composition of semen, when he was talking about acids and stuff a girl raised her hand and added ''but it tastes salty'' without realizing it...needless to say everyone bursted in laughter and she never returned to that class...

The other day I was talking to a family friend who teaches high school history, and he apparently tells his students that all old pictures/films are in black and white because until recently, people did not get enough vitamins and could not see in colour. Sad thing is, they believe him.

So I was in english in my third year of high school ( about 14 or 15 years old ) and a girl had to ask my teacher if the sun in spain is the same sun we see in the uk or if every country has its own sun. God damnit.

On the day before finals in a History class last year when discussing key figures in WWI, a student raised his hand to ask 'Wait...so did Hitler have a last name?' after this was met with deadly silence he looked around in confusion before saying 'so it was just like...Hitler.'

Upon going into middle school, I was told that the science teacher I was going to have had an unnatural obsession with goats; if you drew a goat on your homework or wrote 'I love goats' all over your project, and you'd immediately get an A, that sort of thing. So once, when I hadn't studied for a test, instead of writing goat-related things all over the test, I asked him if goats... Read More » had paws. He lectured me for the whole hour and a half, and the test was postponed. It was awesome.